Speaking with Chude Jideonwo in a revealing feature interview, Big Brother Naija Season 9 winner, Kellyrae said that the vices nearly made her lose her partner. He explained on air that he had a terrible time in his life just before getting into the show where he has attracted his fame.
“I managed to save some amount by then but greed overwhelmed me,” said the embarrassed Kellyrae. Since more wealth is desirable, I soon engaged in gambling and consequently ended up losing all my wealth.
Those nights were terribly black – I often woke up at night tormented by anxiety andaxieties, and was unable to sleep peacefully.
It became worse that it started complicating his affairs with Kassia, his partner. “This turned into my overwhelming reality: the weight of my failures and inadequacies,” Makhmutov said.
Something that made me feel I was a bad role model for the patients or I was not measuring up to what a provider should be. The guilt was overwhelming and to see her standing by, while I was unable to meet even basic obligations.
”One day it became too much to bare,” Kellyrae continue to speak. We were two months into our arrangement when I had to make the rather difficult choice of recommending that we ceased being an item.
I said to her one day, ‘Let me cut this relationship off, let us part.’ In my opinion I do not have what is required by me in order to give yu a life that you have been deserving always. This hearing means the shame of not being able to provide properly was eating away at my self-worth.”
But Kassia became his support during this volatile time of his life. He agreed with her saying she turned out to be his savior: Indeed at one time or the other I was feeling helpless and had been dragged down by depression and she took her time and saved me from sinking deep into the abyss of despair.
Her support to me and most importantly understanding was a true definition of partnership in which financial stability does not even encompass half the picture.
This statement from kellyrae gives us an insight of the fear and despair of a gambling addict, however, it brings out the demoralisation in a family because of gambling. It is also a fairytale of gambling vices and triumph of great partnership irrespective of all adversities in life.
“This of course looking back, was one of the most important things I realized with regards to self-worth, greed and the reality of what doesn’t feel like enough, but is actually enough.”
